trepidation

Awake again, in the middle of the night, the world is sleeping, you are sleeping. You are breathing so smoothly, quietly... I am thinking of you. I want to touch you and caress your skin. Maybe glide my hand on your arm. I would like to play with your hair, nuzzle in the flesh across your back, slide my feet along your legs but you are sleeping. Waking you seems so taboo, sleep is so precious. Many nights I lay next to you in our bed and dream of you while you are in the sweet world of dreams. Last night I invaded your dreams and touched you softly until you stirred. Like a fern unfurling I awoke you and felt you respond gratefully. So many more nights I desire you but hold back with trepidation, dare I awake my sleeping prince? Will he tire of my nightly desires?

comfort/insomnia

There is no solitude quite like 1:47 am or 2:43 am. We are certainly alone at this time. Comforting voices are asleep in other rooms, other beds, in other places. Images, ideas and thoughts play and replay around in our heads to be shared with no one but ourselves. Floor boards creak, wind rustles leaves, clocks tick, partners and children breath in and out, sleeping the sleep that we crave. Rewind, play back, the thoughts merry-go-round in my mind, over and over. They will seem light in the morning but now they are vivid and heavy, demanding to acknowledged over and over. A commercial that annoyingly repeats itself, yes, I heard you you.

So I touch your skin. I lightly brush your arm. I nuzzle my face in your back. I lightly kiss your shoulder. Some comfort is there for me. Maybe if I lay closer to you your blanket of sleep will cover me too and then we can be in dream world together. Insomnia no longer imprisons me the way it once did because I have you. Even in the silence of the night you give me comfort. HA! Take that, Insomnia. I have a defense against you! My lover brings me peace in this abyss you create. It is dark, quiet but no longer lonely because of him. His body laying next to me here in your sleep deprived cave keeps me warm. I gather strength from the contentedly sleeping man next to me. Even in his soundless state he supports me and you don't drain me anymore.