old man

There are many people in the room, talking, laughing, walking about, sitting together, the usual meeting of people that attend events like weddings, graduations, all other manor of human gatherings. I am just an old man sitting on a chair watching the crowd mingle. I used to be that crowd. I was the one with the funny jokes. That was me asking all the pretty girls to dance. The drinks and food were offered by me. Now, I am content to sit and watch. Let them have their fun.

Fun is different for me now, I enjoy life from an alternative perspective. I am not waiting for death I am simply slowing down and enjoying the show that was my life and the new ones evolving around me. There is that 3 year old boy giving his mother trouble. Oh, she is so mad but I am laughing inside because I know that it will be temporary, soon she will be tucking him into bed, kissing him on his tiny, soft cheek and thinking he is the most wonderful child that has ever lived and isn't she a lucky woman.

Also, I have been looking at that middle aged woman over there who keeps adjusting her hair, her lipstick, checking to make sure she is still the beautiful woman she used to be. Of course she is. To me, all women are beautiful. I love to look at them and talk to them. Still. Here is my nephew's girlfriend looking for a place to sit. I signal to her that a place is empty next to me. And she walks across the room to join me. So graceful, yet so timid. A small doe carefully choosing her path amongst the swilling wine glasses, children running, people mingling.

As she sits I smell her flowery scent. I feel the light wisp as she tosses her back. She smiles at me and tells me how tired her feet are. Now, if I were young I might offer to get up and get her a drink but that isn't my job anymore. It is my job to sit and listen and look. She is telling me of the fun she is having at the party, how happy she is that her boyfriend brought her to meet his family. I warn her that the family has been known to be crazy but she laughs. I wag my finger at her teasingly, saying that she has been warned. I see her lovely lips encircle her pearly teeth as she smiles at me. She asks me to tell her about my nephew, what he was like when he was a boy. I could tell her that he was a mischievous brat but I lie and tell her that he was a wonderful boy. Well, it's true. He still is a wonderful boy, all those incidents were just playful learning experiences.

The sound of her sweet voice I will roll around in my mind tonight when I fall asleep before I revisit my nightly fantasy of my wife. She has been gone for 5 years but every night I think of her just as if she were still falling asleep beside me. I even have a pillow there beside me so that I can pretend she is there. Soon I will see her again. Very soon I think. It is almost time. I am not afraid. It is the way of things.

But for now, I am enjoying this sprite of a young woman who has no idea what life has in store for her. Tonight, I enjoy the sound of a woman's voice on my ear. Breathing in her scent, gazing at her pretty face, noting that strand of hair that rebels continuously against her repeated attempts to put it back. I take her soft, delicate hand in between mine and hold it gently. Tapping it lightly, I hold it. I don't want to frighten the little doe. I do not have lecherous thoughts. I do this to stir my own memories. I hold her hand and think of another.

Once there was a young man who loved a fairy like this. To her it such a long, long time ago but to me it was just yesterday. In my mind I am twirling around the dance floor with her. That is what I have now, memories. Lots and lots of memories. No, no, don't feel sorry for me. I am not sad. I had my times and adventures. I have no regrets. This insignificant encounter with my nephew's lady is a gift to an old man. It recaptures my memories, rewinding the movie of life so that now I only have to watch the good parts.

I so enjoy being around people, especially women. It takes all the women in the world to recapture the one I will see again soon.