trepidation

Awake again, in the middle of the night, the world is sleeping, you are sleeping. You are breathing so smoothly, quietly... I am thinking of you. I want to touch you and caress your skin. Maybe glide my hand on your arm. I would like to play with your hair, nuzzle in the flesh across your back, slide my feet along your legs but you are sleeping. Waking you seems so taboo, sleep is so precious. Many nights I lay next to you in our bed and dream of you while you are in the sweet world of dreams. Last night I invaded your dreams and touched you softly until you stirred. Like a fern unfurling I awoke you and felt you respond gratefully. So many more nights I desire you but hold back with trepidation, dare I awake my sleeping prince? Will he tire of my nightly desires?

comfort/insomnia

There is no solitude quite like 1:47 am or 2:43 am. We are certainly alone at this time. Comforting voices are asleep in other rooms, other beds, in other places. Images, ideas and thoughts play and replay around in our heads to be shared with no one but ourselves. Floor boards creak, wind rustles leaves, clocks tick, partners and children breath in and out, sleeping the sleep that we crave. Rewind, play back, the thoughts merry-go-round in my mind, over and over. They will seem light in the morning but now they are vivid and heavy, demanding to acknowledged over and over. A commercial that annoyingly repeats itself, yes, I heard you you.

So I touch your skin. I lightly brush your arm. I nuzzle my face in your back. I lightly kiss your shoulder. Some comfort is there for me. Maybe if I lay closer to you your blanket of sleep will cover me too and then we can be in dream world together. Insomnia no longer imprisons me the way it once did because I have you. Even in the silence of the night you give me comfort. HA! Take that, Insomnia. I have a defense against you! My lover brings me peace in this abyss you create. It is dark, quiet but no longer lonely because of him. His body laying next to me here in your sleep deprived cave keeps me warm. I gather strength from the contentedly sleeping man next to me. Even in his soundless state he supports me and you don't drain me anymore.

still holding you

Now you are larger than me but I still hold you in my arms. I still see your tiny face and remember your tiny fingers. You may even have your own tiny one, yet I still your eyes staring back at me from the security of my arms. I still remember the sweaty scent from a little head resting on my shoulder. There are your eyes looking up at me and me looking at you adoringly. No man feel this and I am sad for them. This is only ours.

young

On a tangled mess the morning light peaks through the blinds. Does it see the image I have in my head? The one of us surrounded by crumpled sheets and blankets falling to the floor? The vision in my head is, me, lying in what you call 'the after glow', blissfully and unabashedly naked. I see a young man laying next to me without the lines and scars of a full life on his body and I hope he sees a young woman in love, not the one with body gently ravaged by life, the imperfect one I see in the mirror after I shower. I haven't been here before in this place of abandon. I don't need to pull the covers up over me. Every muscle is relaxed, even the ones that are tense the rest of the day, my blood is quietly flowing through me, a little fairy telling every cell to rest now, warmth blows gently over my skin. I have indulged myself again in you. The smell of you, the sight of you, the taste of you, the sound of you.

your hands

Sometimes, when you don't know it I am looking at you. I am gazing at your finger tips. I am remembering where they have been, how they touched me, I think of my secret places they have known. I look at your legs exposed from the bottom of your shorts while you are driving and I call to mind when they were entwined with mine. When I see your nose I think of it at the back of my neck. I glance at you as you walk across a room and relive you taking me into your arms. I shiver when you are talking to me of common things because your voice reminds me of whispered things. Lover's whispers in my ear that no one else has heard. The sight of your mustache gives me ghostly tickles when I turn to see you while we watch a movie, reminiscing the light brush it gave me just hours before. Sometimes I quiver quietly to myself when I see your arm exposed in the sun. How many times has that arm brought me to you to be caressed and kissed by you? I steal glances of you when you are cooking for me and I see your hands, your amazing, wonderfully strong hands that easily take my chin and bring my lips to your mouth with tenderness.

You think I am simply sitting beside you watching TV or across from you eating a meal but there is more...... I am experiencing you again and again. Lovemaking never ends for me it continues long after we have left our bed.

laughing

It isn't all you think it is, sometimes it comes down to laughter, just simple laughter, straight from the gut. Sure kissing is nice and hugging and holding hands, all that normal romantic stuff but sometimes laughter is the best love potion there is. If I can make you laugh from your belly I feel wizardly. My powerless little being has become a giant and I can release what is inside of you. Hearing your laughter roll through my ears and go down in my heart creates a joy inside of me. Another facet of love is uncovered. Laying quietly as we fall asleep you begin to chuckle and remind me of how I made you laugh, I smile because I know that I have secured my place in your mind. Years from now you will think of it again and I will be the one who made you laugh and you will remember how I brought happiness to you.

Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered- and still do- which is more important. Hermione Gingold

chameleon

It isn't me, it's really you, you are responsible for what you see. Being with you transforms me into the woman you see. Your touch softens my skin. Your eyes see me beautiful. I come alive when you are near, no longer gray I become rosy with life and love. Like a chameleon I blend in with my surroundings, you surround me with the colors of love.